I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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