I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize