these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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