i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Randomize
