just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
