just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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