It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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