What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
