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The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
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Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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