Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
