Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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