I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
