Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We're too hungover to prance.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
