The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
