It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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