but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
