she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the day after is always just damage control
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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