Screwed.edu
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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