Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
