i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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