go do what you do best...puke behind churches
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
