my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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