I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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