My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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