I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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