I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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