By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
