ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hippo gnu deer
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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