make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
