i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
