I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
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Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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