my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
