Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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