Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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