.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
