I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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