This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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