Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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