I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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