Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
