i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
