My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
