That's intense
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
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His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
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He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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