i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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