Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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