He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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