how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just found a bag of teeth...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
