I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize