do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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