Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
