Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
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He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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