what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
