i need an iv and a liver transplant
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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