But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
