i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
