he wants to bone in the snuggie
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
