I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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