he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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