She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
