why didn't you poke me back
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Actions speak louder than pants.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
