Me too!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
