I want to stick my p in your. b.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
