Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
my liver is dry heaving
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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