never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
