My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
