I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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