so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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