I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
